


Santa Hats

by NotALemon



Series: Boyfriends [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gay, M/M, Santa hats, Sloppy Makeouts, Threesome - M/M/M, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 05:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8785324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotALemon/pseuds/NotALemon
Summary: Sloppy makeouts in Santa hats. What more could you ask for?





	

Dave kicked open the door and grinned. “Ho ho ho motherfuckers!” He tossed two Santa hats at John and Karkat. John’s hit him right in the face. He pulled it on.

“Why’re you declaring what you are?” Karkat growled through his teeth. They glittered in the light. 

“Karkat! That’s _mean_!” John smacked his arm, not actually hurting him in any way. It was like a baby had hit him.

Karkat crossed his arms, removing his hand from John’s. “What the fuck even is this useless piece of fabric?” He picked up the hat, not wanting to rip it with his sharp nails. It was the same shade of red as his blood color. Or… all of their blood colors. He shook his head. Humans and their lack of blood castes. “This looks like a bigger disappointment than me.”

“It’s a hat. You put it on your big head.” Dave picked up the hat and put it over Karkat’s horns. Karkat gasped. “Do hats turn you on, Karkles?”

“How’d you feel if I put a hat on your chest horns?” Karkat wrapped his hand around Dave’s wrist, pulling him onto the couch with them. Dave sprawled between the two. One arm around John’s shoulders, one around Karkat’s.

John burst into a giggling little mess. “‘Chest horns’!” He had his shoulders up to his ears and laughed even louder. “‘Chest horns’, oh my God!” He snorted before finally covering his mouth.

“I can’t believe you actually said ‘chest horns’. They’re nipples.” Dave smiled at Karkat.

“Fuck you right up the ass with something sharp and painful.” Karkat flipped him off. Dave chuckled until Karkat’s hand reached for his shirt and pulled him forward. 

There was the sound of teeth hitting teeth and gasps into each other’s mouths. John crossed his arms.

“Are you two gonna make out without me?” He asked with a scowl.

Karkat pulled away from Dave, his fist still full of Dave’s soft shirt. “Damn, you could join us. We _are_ together.”

John slithered over to them. “I guess I’ll slip in.” He grinned at the two of them.

“If you’re gonna do that, slip your tongue in too. That’s called a tongue, right?” Karkat stuck out his tongue.

“Yeah, that’s a tongue for sure! But your is all gray!” 

“It’s not my fault that you’re a fucking alien and we have different parts.”

John giggled. Karkat opened his mouth to say something, but never got around to it. John went in for a kiss before he could say anything.

Dave whistled. “Looking hot, boys.”

“Ugh. Shut up, Dave. You can join in on the fun too, you know!” John held out an inviting arm for Dave to join them, even though John was sitting on his lap.

“You sure you don’t mind? I really like this view of my boys.”

“Shut your insufferable windpipe and join us before I shut it for you.” 

“If you say so.” Dave gave John a small, innocent peck on the cheek. 

John giggled again. “You can do more than that, Dave. We _are_ together!”

“Goddamn. You’ve opened the door to an unstoppable force.” Dave wrapped his fingers in John’s hair.

Karkat did the same for Dave’s hair. “Your hair’s so fucking weird. It’s thinner than my patience. That’s saying some shit.”

“You wanna get in on the show, or are you gonna bitch the whole time?”

“Make your mouth useful for once and kiss me.” 

Dave did just that. Karkat took a chance to thread his fingers into John’s hair too. 

“Am I missing out on the fun too?”

Karkat let go of Dave’s mouth. “Switching between quadrants is hard. Hold on.” He paused before giving John a tender kiss.

“I love you.”

“I pity you, Egbert.” Karkat glanced over to Dave, blank-faced as ever. “I don’t really hate you, Strider. Your face is- for some mysterious reason, shrouded in nonsense for all eternity- kind of adorable. Tell anyone I said that-”

“Karkles, you’re a cupcake. I know you wouldn’t do anything to me.” Dave grinned at him. “I love you?”

“You’re not nearly as stupid as you look, Strider.”

“I love you too, Dave!”

“Of course I love you, John. You dingbat.”

John sighed, leaning against Dave’s shoulder with both of their hands in his hair. “Was this the reason you gave us the hats?”

“I wanted to spread the holiday cheer. Instead, I got gay makeouts. Not too shabby for a Strider.”

“I forgot Striders are supposed to be literal sex Gods.”

Dave smirked. “You know it. How about some hot Christmas sex?”

“What the actual bulge fucking hell is _Christmas_?”

**Author's Note:**

> I love sloppy makeouts, but not when they're as poorly written as this probably is.


End file.
